c l a y    m i n i a t u r e s

Odds Carson could've made the show for Hanson: 4 to 1
("I missed my flight... I won't make it in until Tuesday...")
Odds Carson would've made the show,
if Christina Aguilera was the guest: Even Money
("Why ask why?")
Odds that Carson would've kissed Hanson's butt
had he hosted the show: Even Money
("I've always loved your music!" *smirk*)
Odds that Carson would've literally kissed Hanson's butts
had he hosted the show: Million to 1
(We might pay a million to see that...)
Odds that Carson holds a grudge against Hanson because of a split
between him and well-known Hanson fan, Jennifer Love Hewitt: 3 to 1
(Like Christina could ever take her place...)

A snipet from TRL
"This is Lindsey from Oklahoma and I'd like to request Hanson's "This Time
Around"! They sound great and I can't
wait for their new album!
Waaaa... I love you Hanson... Waaaaaaaa..."

Odds of your page winning the HFPC and
hangin' with Hanson: 400,000 to 1
(But somebody WILL beat those odds!)
Odds of you not winning the contest and
hangin' with yourself: Even Money
(Most people will be listening to the Fan Conference Webcast)
Odds of Ike, Taylor, or Zac marrying the winner
of the HFPC (if female): 1,000 to 1
(Meeting them is the first step to the sacred altar)
Odds of Ike, Taylor, or Zac marrying the winner
of the HFPC (if male): Billion to 1
(Never say never...)
Odds of the winner being male: 10 to 1
(Odds would be higher, but MTV's Fanatic beat those odds...)

Odds that the HFPC winning site will look better than Hansonline: 500 to 1
(Good thing they redesigned it...)
Odds that the HFPC winning site will navigate easier than Hansonline: 5 to 1
(Navigation has never been a strong point...)
Odds that the HFPC winning site will be Hansonline: 500,000 to 1
(The backlash would get ugly... real ugly!)
Odds that the HFPC winning site will contain fan artwork: 3 to 1
(Take a look at the netpicks in MOE and
it's not hard to figure out what they like...)

A snipet from TRL
"Hey everybody, this is Suzie from Michigan, and I'd like to request Hanson's "This Time Around"! They deserve to be number 1 because they can write, sing, and play their instruments better than anybody...  Woo Hoo...
Kiss my ass Carson!  Woo Hoo..."

Odds of a site named "This Time Around" winning the
"I Don't Know HTML" HFPC: 50 to 1
(Odds are that most of these people will use the
Hanson logo as the title of their page)
Odds of a site named "This Time Around" winning the
"I Know HTML" HFPC: 400 to 1
(Only chance of winning with this title is if your
web address is www.thistimearound.com)
Odds that Hanson will actually see your site: 3 to 1
(Odds are they might have someone screen out all the sites for them.)
Odds that Hanson will see your site if you put a bikini picture
of yourself on the front of the site: 2 to 1
Odds that Hanson will call you if you put your
phone number on the site: 500,000 to 1
Odds that a Hanson impersonator or a freaky guy will call
you if you put your phone number on the site: 50 to 1

Odds of David Meyers working with Hanson again: 100 to 1
("How would you like your coffee, Mr. Taylor?")
Odds that Hanson's Making the Video helped out
David Meyers career: 100 to 1
(He won't be putting that on his resume anytime soon)
Odds that David Meyers will allow MTV to film him
"Making the Video" in the future: 50 to 1
(The same odds as the set director's/rat wrangler's hairdo
or Taylor's shoe fashion coming into style...)
Odds that 'This Time Around' will make #1 in its 65 appearances
on the countdown: 100 to 1
(We vote 10-40 times a day, and they can't even make the countdown)
Odds that Hanson will be calling Gus Van Sant
for their next video: 5 to 1
("I didn't realize what a good video, 'Weird' was...")

A snipet from TRL
"My name is Becky and I'm from Peoria, South Dakota, and I want you to play Hanson's "This Time Around"! Taylor looks sooo hot in the video and I can't wait for their next concert tour...
Hanson's back, baby... Marry me Taylor! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Odds of website entering the contest missing one
of the required elements: 100 to 1
(It'll happen... people don't read instructions...)
Odds of a website winning with doctored
Hanson publicity photos: 5,000 to 1
(If Hanson wants a mustache, they'll grow one...
at least, I think they can...)
Odds of a website winning that displays the
'Taylor in a Speedo' picture: 100,000 to 1
(You know that they got a kick out of it
when they first saw it, I know we did!)
Odds of a website winning that has Erotic Hanson Fiction: 500 to 1
(If they won't put it in MOE, they probably won't pick one for the HFPC.)
Odds of a website winning that has a Hanson Shower Cam: 5,000 to 1
(You will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law!)

Odds that HOL will take off right away: 100 to 1
(Unless they offer some sort of Hanson Cam... )
Odds of HOL replacing AOL: Million to 1
(Can't you hear Zac's voice saying, "You've got mail!")
Odds that the price for supplemental memberships
will go down: 10 to 1
(Buy 6 months, get 6 months free...)
Odds that BOL (Britney Online) is in the works: 10 to 1
(Looks like a big project, but she denies it...)

A snipet from TRL
"My name is Dave and I'd like you to play Hanson's "This Time Around"! The video is the best ever and should merit a Grammy nomination! The editing is terrific and girls, you have to love Taylor's eyes... How about an MTV VMA? Wooooooooooo..."