Hansonfans@hansonclay.com: Hanson in Clay-O-Vision

How to Spot:
The toughest fan to spot. This person is a fan,
yet not a big enough fan that Hanson effects
their life in any way.

Purchases:
Hanson cds, no MOE membership

Response to "Do you like Hanson?":
"I like their music."

Hanson Internet Experience:
Looks up Hansonline every so often, but
likes to look up other things.

Hanson Website:
May mention Hanson on their non-Hanson webpage.

Frequent Quote:
"Hanson? Oh,... they're okay."

Translation of Frequent Quote:
"I like Hanson, but you don't
need to know that."

Hanson Fan
Level 1

played by Marcia Brady
Attributes on a scale of 1-10
(10 being best)
Hanson IQ: 4
Hanson Devotion: 7
HTML Knowledge: 5
Lyric Knowledge: 6
(Knows lyrics to all
main Hanson songs)

Hanson Fan Level 1

Hanson Fan
Level 2

played by Marcia Brady
Attributes on a scale of 1-10
(10 being best)
Hanson IQ: 8
Hanson Devotion: 9
HTML Knowledge: 5
Lyric Knowledge: 9
(Knows lyrics to MON, SI, and 3CG)

Hanson Fan Level 2

How to Spot:
Loses focus when someone mentions Hanson.

Purchases:
Hanson cds, video, and an occasional poster
MOE membership is probable

Response to "Do you like Hanson?":
"Hanson's cool."

Hanson Internet Experience:
Looks up Hansonline everyday to stay
informed and likes to chat about Hanson.

Hanson Website:
May own a small Hanson website on Expage,
Angelfire, or Tripod. Some fan fiction.

Frequent Quote:
"I love everything about Hanson."

Translation of Frequent Quote:
"Someday, I will graduate to Hanson Fan Level 3!"

How to Spot:
The mere mention of Hanson or music can set this
fan off into an explosion of the latest Hanson info.

Purchases:
Hanson cds, posters, magazines, t-shirts,
MOE membership, and optional Hanson wallpaper

Response to "Do you like Hanson?":
"They are the BEST Band Ever!"

Hanson Internet Experience:
Visits all the major Hanson sites everyday, loves
to chat, and signs every guestbook. Is part
of a Hanson community/clique online.

Hanson Website:
May own a large Hanson website on Geocities or
Simplenet. Fan fiction is probable

Frequent Quote:
"Hanson's da bomb!"

Translation of Frequent Quote:
"I love Hanson and their music and would give
my right arm to meet them."

Hanson Fan
Level 3

Hanson Fan Level 3
played by Marcia Brady
Attributes on a scale of 1-10
(10 being best)
Hanson IQ: 10
Hanson Devotion: 10
HTML Knowledge: 10+
Lyric Knowledge: 10
(Knows lyrics to everything
including independent
releases)

Hanson Fan Level 3

The Obsessed
Hanson Fanatic
Obsessed Hanson Fan

played by Cindy Brady

Attributes on a scale of 1-10
(10 being best)
Hanson IQ: 10+
(May know more about Hanson,
than Hanson does)
Hanson Devotion: 10+
(Temple/Shrine optional)
HTML Knowledge: 5
Lyric Knowledge: 10+
(Even made their own lyrics)

Obsessed Hanson Fan

How to Spot:
Wears a different Hanson shirt everyday. Has
Taylor-like chokers and may own yellow Doc Martins.
At the mention of Hanson, will start screaming and
won't stop singing and talking about them.

Response to "Do you like Hanson?":
"I'd die for Hanson!"

Hanson Internet Experience:
Views Hansonline 3 to 5 times a day
and has visited every Hanson
website on UHLP. Has 150
Hanson email buddies, loves to chat,
and writes how much they love Hanson in every guestbook

Hanson Website:
Doesn't have enough time for a large
site. Too busy telling everyone the
latest about Hanson and how much
they love them.

Purchases:
Everything Hanson! Walls and
ceiling covered in Hanson.
At least one MOE membership,
maybe more.

Frequent Quote:
"I love Hanson."

Translation of Frequent Quote:
"I am going to marry Taylor, have
3 kids, and live in a large mansion
with Uncle Ike and Uncle Zac."

How to Spot:
Nervously looking through the "H" section,
at your local Music store. An adult looking
at teen magazines in the supermarket or bookstore

Purchases:
Hanson cds, videos, and possible MOE membership

Response to "Do you like Hanson?":
"(Insert name of kid you know) loves them."

Hanson Internet Experience:
Frequently views Hansonline and other major
sites, but rarely signs guestbooks.
Can often be found hanging out at guhfu.

Hanson Website:
May own a medium to large site, but on the bio
page of the author, the age seems to be
conveniently missing. Fan fiction is optional.

Frequent Quote:
"I'm buying it for my niece's birthday."

Translation of Frequent Quote:
"Yes, I am a Hanson fan. Hurry up and put
it in the bag before someone I know shows up."

The Adult
Hanson Fan

played by Alice
Attributes on a scale of 1-10
(10 being best)
Hanson IQ: 9
Hanson Devotion: 8
(Cannot publicly defend them.)
HTML Knowledge: 7
Lyric Knowledge: 8

Adult Hanson Fan

The Secret
Hanson Fan

The Secret Hanson Fan
played by ???
Attributes on a scale of 1-10
(10 being best)
Hanson IQ: 8
Hanson Devotion: 10
HTML Knowledge: 5
Lyric Knowledge: Only 7
(Can't sing-a-long or humm songs
because of fear of getting caught)

Secret Hanson Fan

How to Spot:
Flinches at the mention of Hanson.
Will casually glance toward the tv when they are on.
Only the best of friends and family know.

Purchases:
Hanson cds, videos. No MOE membership
because that mailman talks too much.

Response to "Do you like Hanson?":
"Who?" (Quickly changes subject)
"Did you see blah blah blah last night?"

Hanson Internet Experience:
Visits all the major Hanson websites (no bookmarks)
and loves to chat and email Hanson
buddies under a secret alias.

Hanson Website:
May own a small to medium Hanson site,
careful not to disclose any personal info,
like real name and location.

Frequent Quote:
"Hanson?... Isn't that a music group?"

Translation of Frequent Quote:
"I hope I remembered to hide my Hanson cd."

How to Spot:
When someone mentions Hanson, they won't stop
talking about them. Might talk more than an
obsessed fan.

Purchases:
Nothing Hanson, just criticizes their merchandise

Response to "Do you like Hanson?":
"They bleeping suck!"

Hanson Internet Experience:
Chats in Pro-Hanson chatrooms, writes in
Pro-Hanson guestbooks and frequently visits
larger Hanson webpages to get info.

Hanson Website:
Has nothing better to do than to make a website
about something they hate rather than something
they like. Aside from content, their site
has decent layout and design.

Frequent Quote:
"I hate those girls!"

Translation of Frequent Quote:
"I wish I had their looks and half their talent."

The Anti
Hanson Fan

Anti Hanson Fan
played by Jan Brady
Attributes on a scale of 1-10
(10 being best)
Hanson IQ: 7
Hanson Devotion: 5
(Torn, because without Hanson,
they wouldn't have a life.)
HTML Knowledge: 7
Lyric Knowledge: surprisingly a 3
(Why is it that you can sing along
to all the songs you dislike?)

Anti Hanson Fan

Current Results of the Hanson Fan Poll
(pollit lost our results again!)

Previous results were (approximately):
Hanson Fan Level One           225
Hanson Fan Level Two           345
Hanson Fan Level Three         579
Obsessed Hanson Fan            422
Adult Hanson Fan                    88
Secret Hanson Fan                 60
Anti Hanson Fan                     17

look at you, look at you, baby,
look at you, look at you, baby...